I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize