Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
