If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
