He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
