Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
