just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
