Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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