Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
