I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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