So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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