Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I want her autograph on my taint
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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