I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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