Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
this will be a night to untag.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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