The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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