Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
