i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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