no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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