If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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