she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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