a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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