She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
