he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
