Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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