Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
