Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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