im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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