Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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