I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
