I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
