We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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