i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
