Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize