who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
