maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
