Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
