I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
