I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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