I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
