Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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