also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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