u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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