I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
