so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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