I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
