I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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