We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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