He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
...so i touched it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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