he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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