I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
