the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
