Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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