My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
