Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
tell me about the eggs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
