i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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