I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
