if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
