dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
