we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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