I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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