so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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