I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize