Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
