Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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